FINDING AN ASSISTANT
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START WITH A LIST OF YOUR NEEDS AND WANTS |
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What are your boundaries? On what are you willing to compromise? What has been identified as a need in any professional assessments you have undergone?
Instead of hiding and feeling shame about our needs, we can focus our energies on stating our needs and making more skillful choices in hiring a quality assistant.
Before delving into the self-marketing tools for hiring an assistant, some self-reflection may be helpful in defining your wants and needs, determining what you can and cannot compromise. If you are anxious to get started, a sample task list is located on page 9.
Everybody is different and has their own way of coming to terms with the reality of their disability and situation. We all have certain emotional issues to weed through with disability.
It is not the scope of this manual to go into deep psychological processing. That would be more appropriate for a therapist; however, we would like to stress the value of talking and connecting with other people with disabilities. Peer support can be helpful in putting issues in perspective.
Many of us go through a process of shame about our needs. It is really hard feeling exposed and vulnerable to other people. It can become more difficult the closer you get to the more basic needs for physical survival. Some awareness of the emotional processes we are going through as well as that of others helps validate our feelings. Instead of hiding and feeling shame about our needs we can focus our energies on stating our needs and making more skillful choices in hiring a quality assistant.
The assistant we hire is going to have a significant impact on our functioning and attitude. We need to put some thought and energy into what we need, how we want it done and who in our lives we want doing it. What kinds of activities do we want to be involved in and what kinds of people do we want surrounding ourselves.
The market is gradually changing, as there is a growing movement to get people with disabilities out of institutions. Grass roots groups are rising to the challenge of educating our policy and decision-makers about the reality of the need for these services. People with disabilities are demonstrating that when and where the Personal Assistance Services are available, people are better off emotionally, socially and financially.
We have all had good and bad experiences with assistants. There is a high rate of turnover because there are many disincentives (that consumers needs to be aware of) for this kind of work. These elements could affect the safety and stability of the people who use these essential supports.
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DISINCENTIVES FOR ASSISTANTS PAID THROUGH STATE MEDICAID FUNDS INCLUDE: |
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- Low wages;
- No benefits;
- No vacation/sick days;
- No holidays;
- No retirement; and
- No career incentives.
These disincentives challenge those of us in locating a potential assistant – a quality assistant. Given limited resources, we find ourselves hiring from a pool of individuals, which in some cases have questionable motives. We need to be honest, open and direct in exploring some of the realities that face people with disabilities in hiring someone on limited income. Sometimes that appears as categorizing and stereotyping. Sometimes it is.
Some potential assistant’s are genuinely interested in being of assistance. They may be in the process of making positive changes in their lives. We have found people who are motivated with some personal goals of their own tend to be better assistants. They tend to be more organized about getting things done for the employer.
The intent of this manual is to help you define and clearly state what you need assistance with; develop a self-marketing plan that will help you screen out people that are not sincere about providing the services needed; choose the best applicant; manage your services, i.e. keeping the lines of communication open for feedback; and, how to terminate an assistant or make a transition from one assistant to another when that time comes.
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THE FOLLOWING WILL AFFECT YOUR HOW YOU LOCATE AN ASSISTANT |
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- Locations you choose to advertise;
- The manner and attitude you project; and
- The resources for payment of services.
Some people contract with nursing agencies that screen, schedule and provide assistants. That still does not make people exempt from a range of good and bad assistants. It’s up to us as people with disabilities, or family or friends of people with disabilities to be able to develop skills in selecting an honest, dependable person.
There are no guarantees for any of us and this manual is not a foolproof method of finding the ‘perfect’ assistant. The human condition will still surprise us. Remember, some of the most skilled human resource managers in the corporate world sometimes hire people who do not work out.
Different qualities are important to different people. Here are some traits you may want to think about as you consider and make contacts with potential assistants. You have to decide what is most important for you based on your personality, the tasks you need done, and how often you are going to have contact with the assistant.
- Punctual: being on time
- Dependable: being on time consistently
- Helpful: willing to do things rather than acting burdened by your requests
- Goal oriented: wanting to get things done
- Honest: someone you can trust your physical safety to, as well as property
- Clean and neat: keeping things picked up and sanitary
- Take direction: not argumentative thinking their own way is the only way; open to different ways of doing things
- Communicative: easy to talk with, not defensive about discussing difficulties when they arise
- Understanding: having compassion not pity
- Flexible: stable yet not chaotic, can respond to realistic circumstances and changes
- Patient: doesn’t get bothered if things take longer than ‘normal’
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ATTITUDES TO LOOK OUT FOR WHEN HIRING AN ASSISTANT |
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- Saviors: those that don’t understand how people with disabilities can go on living without their brand of religious belief
- Rehabilitators: those that think we need to spend our lives putting our own socks on instead of utilizing the assistance of others, so we have time and energy for things like work!
- Condescending: those that pat us on the head saying how marvelous or courageous or what inspiration we are for trying to live a normal life
- Do-gooders: those that decide we are a charity case
- Pity: those that look at us with that ‘you poor helpless thing’ look
- Seeing people with disabilities as children: those that offer parental supervision
- Healers: those that think our life will have more meaning when there is a cure
- New Age Approach: they may tell you it was good you choose to be incarnated in this day and age since there is so much technology available
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THE RISKS OF DESPERATE DECISION MAKING |
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Time and pressure to hire someone quickly increases the stress in decision making and choosing an assistant. This can distort our perceptions about someone and can cause us to ignore certain warning signs of attitudes, behaviors or feedback on what might become a problem later. It is important that you take some time in advertising and interviewing. It is much easier to take time rather than have to start all over again if you hire a bad assistant.
Use the application process to assist you in the screening, stick to it as much as you can, and pay attention to the information you get from it.
For example: If people have excuses for not showing up for an appointed interview, does the reason seem legitimate? Is the person hesitant about the process you have for hiring? Is completing a background inquiry a problem for them. Is being direct about your needs somehow awkward for the potential assistant?
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